There's another person

Bismillah..

Assalamualaikum..

Today I am feeling inspired and super touched after heard a story from my colleague.

The story about marriage life, being a single parent, being alone and depressed, being tested..

She is a happy go lucky and really jolly person. I never yet saw her being moody or what not during my working time. I always find her jolly. But less than i know, her personal life is miserable. And last night she talked to me about her life.

After hearing her touching story, i am truly inspired of her toughness and her self-conscious to bear all the problems by herself.

Not that I will tell about her story, instead I wanted to highlight some important notes to myself and may it is useful for others. InsyaAllah..

1) never ever judge a person's life solely based on their out character. We never knew their story. It may be worst that we could imagine. (She told me that she have to make herself happy or she could gone mental)

2) Jangan ingat cerita kita lebih teruk dari orang. Ada lagi yang teruk. Ada yang lebih menderita. Ambil cerita mereka sebagai pengajaran untuk jadikan kita lebih tabah menghadapi dugaan. Allah tidak akan menguji hambanya lebih dari apa yang mereka mampu.

3) Sederita mana kita, cuba untuk sembunyikan, atau jangan tunjukkan dekat orang yang kita terlalu menderita atau tengah bersedih. Cerita kita mungkin hanya sejentik dari cerita mereka yang lebih menderita. Tak perlu untuk satu dunia tahu. Wallahualam. ( Or at least on social media where people observe our move.)

4) cuba jadikan diri seorang pendengar yang baik. InsyaAllah.. Trust me, when you become a good listener, there's a lot that you can gain from people's story. It's not that you cannot tell people. But minimize your story to people who really care about you because sometimes their interest about your story is just to judge you or tell others their judgment about you.

P/s: akak, little that i know about you.. I am inspired.. I am touched.. I hope you will find your happiness, insyaAllah. Keep yourself strong and keep pray to Allah. ;')

What is it??

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.

So...

Now i am in the phase of stabilizing my life.

I've passed through the introduction phase of being independent.

Now i need to stabilize all.

Being independent is much more tougher  but much more maturing myself.

I learned a lot by being single in the meaning of controlling my life alone, managing my daily life.

It is so much needful of commitment and hardwork.

When i am working, i have no time thinking about other problem.

When i'm in home, i have no time and i don't want to think about the work problem or whatsoever.

It is an interesting yet challenging life path that i think a big bonus when you're away with your parents and when you're managing your own life.

Where you are heading to..

When are you going to settle down..

What is your target..

What are your goals..

These are the questions that i have to answer myself.

And honestly i love when people judge me as i have no interesting journey.

I may look like one, but they don't know my plans.

They don't know what i am doing with my life.

I know that i'm not living in a dreamy world.

I am far from perfect and i do not want to be perfect.

I just wanted to be the best for myself.

InsyaAllah..

May Allah bless us all.

;)

M.I.A

Assalamualaikum.

Its been nearly 4 months i haven't write. Its just i have adjusting myself in life actually.

But today i am called to write something for my sister.

Dear sister,

I know what you're going through right now.

Emotions keep in fighting with you.

You fight with yourself, with your mind and emotion.

I understand.

You know what dear sis?

Taking risks is one of your biggest solution.

You fight with your own fear.

I do, and i still have that fear but at least i have gone through the risk and its all worth it.

It matures me in a way of thinking and controlling my feelings.

My advise to you is, after you took that risk, never ever regret.

For whatever consequences.

Don't regret because there's always something brighter for you.

Don't feel stupid of yourself but be proud!

At least you had done something to yourself that is courage!

I've been in your shoe.

And now i am ready to take that shoe off.

I'm always here for you.

I know this situation is hard to tell to someone because you're afraid that person might not understand what you gone through.

Dear sister,

Be free with yourself.

Jangan kekangkan diri sendiri.

Let your emotion run free.

Life is about learning something new.

Be new, renew yourself.

Try to be positive and do the right things for yourself, not to please others.

If you want to please others, please for both.

That will make you happier.

I'm always here ;)

Blessful life

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum.

Its been a while since i wrote the last entry.
I have time, not to lie.
I also have stories but i think i'll let it pass by.

Alhamdulillah.
My life is getting stable ever since.
I finally got peace of mind and also i had got rid of the old memories.
Love memories to be exact.
I finally did it!!
Yahoooo!!

I am no longer live in the old memories.
The memories now i can kept it inside, not to be erase but i just don't live with it anymore.

Alhamdulillah praise to Allah. ;)

Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.

;)

I want to be a good parent

Bismillah.

I've recently got transferred to special ward. Obstetric/gynae & paediatric ward. That mean an additional for me to handle with kids.

Kids??!!
Me??!!

Okay.
Hahahahaha..

Well thats odd cause i am not really into kids. I mean i'm not exposed to kids because my surrounding is not really with kids. I really love elderly than kids. Maybe i am just not used to kids.

So now i have to change the direction of course. I must be friendly with kids.

Just now i've witnessed a romantic family. Aaaaaa!!! Sangat sweet!! I served the meds to the kid. He was sleeping, so i told his parents to give the meds and wake him up.

Both mom and dad wake him up in a very gentle and cuddly way.
They talked softly to him.
So sweet.
So cute.
And so cuddly!!!!

So, i want to be a mother and hopefully got a husband just like that.
One happy family ;)

My dear baby

Muhammad Haikal, mama will miss you.

Its time for you to get a decent family to take care of you.

Its really breaking my heart to let my foster son taken away by another family.

He is really a wonderful boy from paradise.

I met him when he was 1 years old.

He is so cute and cuddly, shy and sweet.

I decided to make him as my foster child on the spot.

I don't know why but i felt 'a tick' the moment he came near me.

I told him to call me mama. He said it with a very cute voice.

Oh how i will miss him.

When i got time, i will meet him at his home 'Darul Hanan'.

Yes, he is unfortunate child that his parents died due to an accident.

Soon i heard the news that a family wanted to adopt him, it really breaks my heart.

I couldn't say a word. We are so closed together. I will meet him whenever i am sad or happy.

I know that i'm not suitable to be his parents due to my single status and also his medical status.

But i love him.

Muhammad Haikal, mama loves you.

Its really breaking up my heart when i have to tell him that he will be with another nice family.

'Ikal, nanti ikal dah ada mak ayah baru. Nanti dieorg jumpa ikal. Ikal dah ada rumah best. Ikal dah tak duduk kat sini tau.'

His cuddly face, playing with the ironman.

I have to really hold up my tears as i can't see him anymore, in 2 weeks from now.

My love towards him grows deeper and deeper since the day i met him.

If i didn't come for a long period, he will like 'mama! Ikal ma!

Oh Ikal, mama will really miss you sayang.
I love you so much.
It seems like kita tak ada jodoh.
Goodbye my dear.
I hope that you will remember me always in your heart.
Be good to your new family okay.
Remember all the memories we've been together okay?

I love you Ikal ;')

Tak suka

Aku tak suka bila orang dapat membaca diriku yang sebenar.
Dan dia berjaya membaca diriku.
Ahh..
95% tepat.
Kagum dengan penafsiran dia tetapi aku lebih selesa jika ia menjadi rahsia diri.

Rahsiaku kini dia tahu.
Aku malu kerana dia dapat membaca dan memahami diriku.
Bukan membenci tetapi aku pun tidak mengerti dengan realiti diriku sendiri.